Browsing All posts tagged under »bereavement«

Complicated Bereavement: Mourning Someone You Never Really Knew

October 15, 2014 by


Well, I never really knew you ’til you said goodbye~Vince Gill If you want to know something about bereavement that slides from ‘normal’ to ‘complicated’ in a moment of revelation, due to unimaginable circumstances, you need look no further than to the mourning experiences of Julie Metz and Reeve Lindbergh. As you can see in my […]

Bereavement With Your Name On It: The ‘Unbereaved Bereaved’

September 5, 2014 by


In the totally bizarre way in which the world–and bereavement–works, sometimes you’re in the right (or should I say wrong?) place, at the right time, to be a mourner you don’t feel yourself to be, in a role you never wanted to play. Of course this is uncommon–and there is no literature on it to confirm […]

I Did It My Way: Different Paths to Adapting to Bereavement

August 22, 2014 by


I planned each charted course/Each careful step along the byway/And more, much more than this/ I did it my way . . ./I faced it all and I stood tall/And did it my way.” It was the year of the plague. I lost a client, a mere child, to leukemia. A long-standing client dropped dead […]

Interventions For Mourners–and Why Sometimes Research Can Be A Real Downer

August 11, 2014 by


“Do not put your faith in what statistics say until you have carefully considered what they do not say.” ~William W. Watt I’m going to really go out on a limb here. Forthcoming: one of those big assumptions about humankind in general. Consider yourself  warned. Here it is: I don’t believe (you still with me?) […]

Loss of a Dream: Layers of Bereavement

August 10, 2014 by


“There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations.” ~ Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes Recently, within a span of 5 years, I found myself in the homes of two of the administrators from the local Jewish day school–and not for social visits. Rather I was there trying to offer what comfort […]

Pathologizing Grief–Just For Starters: The DSM-5 and My Tripartite Expression of Displeasure, Part II

April 8, 2012 by


You cry into your pillow silently at night, reaching across to that empty expanse of the bed where, for 30 years, you’d always felt your partner’s hand reaching, in turn, for yours. Sleep eludes you due to the pain, and you are exhausted during the day, wondering, at times, if you’ll have the energy to even […]

Pathologizing Grief–Just For Starters: The DSM-5 and My Tripartite Expression of Displeasure, Getting Started

April 7, 2012 by


It’s a little-known fact, even to the seminar graduates, that,  before the powers that be let a mother actually give birth to her child, she and her partner have to attend a weekend seminar (and there are no exceptions here) in some hazy, nebulous part of the globe, in some time period out of normal chronology, which is promptly […]

‘But a Transition From This Life:’ Bereavement and Belief in the Afterlife

April 4, 2012 by


“Death is but a transition from this life to another existence where there is no more pain and anguish. All the bitterness and disagreements will vanish, and the only thing that lives forever is love.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Grief from the loss of a loved one is often overwhelming and crushing. Religions often try to ease that […]