Browsing All Posts filed under »Parenting«

Family systems: Children Acting Out Parental Power Struggles

November 20, 2014 by

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Charlotte* was a energetic, exciting, dominant woman.  She chose Charlie,* her opposite. Charlie ate the same menu almost every day: 2 eggs, chicken salad for lunch, chicken or pasta for dinner.  This drove Charlotte wild, and she let Charlie know how boring she thought he was. She loved changes and adventures, gourmet food and fine […]

National Prematurity Awareness Month and Day

November 2, 2014 by

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My oldest niece is the closest I ever came to having a child of my own. I do fully understand that you can never truly grasp what it’s like to have a child until you do, indeed, have one, but if all it took was a love so deep and wide that the famous Spanish […]

The Triangle–What It Looks Like In Family Life

October 16, 2014 by

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Molly* is a difficult [in my more honest moments I think of her as nearly tyrannical] early adolescent, who makes her mother’s life a horror. She picks on Mom’s clothes, her hairstyle–the way she chews her toast in the morning. It seems little escapes Molly’s critical eye, despite the fact that her mother Marge* has […]

Adult Children Moving Back Home: Too Much of a Good Deal

October 16, 2014 by

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13. It always gets that bad ‘unlucky’ rap, even in these progressive days and times. There’s just no escaping it. So it will be no surprise to parents, who thought they saw the backsides of their children when they sent them off a full-paid college experience, that 13% of parents with grown children now claim […]

Bullying’s Victims: Profile of Our Vulnerable Children. Oct. Is Bullying Prevention Month

October 15, 2014 by

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A story of injustice mixed with justice hit the news yesterday. A Florida sheriff arrested 2 girls (ages 14 and 12) for cyberbullying. Their victim, 12-year-old Rebecca Sedwick, jumped to her death from an abandoned concrete factory.  The Facebook entry from her torturer: “Yes, IK I bullied her Rebecca and she killed herself and IDGAF” […]

“We’ll Just Fix It For You”: Letting Your Children Be Adults: Walking the Walk

October 13, 2014 by

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High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation. ~Jack Kinder So you’re ready to set boundaries with and just say no to your over-indulged adult child–and you haven’t the faintest idea where to begin. Well, you’ve come to the right place. It’s time to teach your child financial responsibility–a bit late, it’s […]

“He’s MY Daddy:” Campaigning For Attention in the Blended Family: New Spouse vs. Children

October 12, 2014 by

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To finish off this series on the blended family, let’s address what happens when the ones campaigning for attention of a certain parent are a child–and the new spouse. Look, let’s face it. Your child has very little cause to be invested in your new marriage. Either he’d like things to go back the way […]

“He’s MY Daddy:” Campaigning For Attention in the Blended Family: The Step-Siblings

October 11, 2014 by

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To start your proactive work on preventing rivalry for a parent’s attention between siblings or between children and a new spouse, I recommend that you as the parent and step-parent consciously partition your home time into four parts: time with the blended family all together, time with your spouse alone, time with your own children […]

All in the Family: The Identified Patient

October 10, 2014 by

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“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” You only had to make it through the first chapter [first line, to be honest] of Anna Karenina to find this out–and there will be no quizzes assessing your knowledge of the novel after, so you’re home free now. Despite Tolstoy’s […]

“Not Necessarily Sacred”: Making Rules For the Blended Family

October 8, 2014 by

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Franklin D. Roosevelt said, in that wonderful bass voice of his: “Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.” Let’s see where that takes us. In my post “‘A Room Of Her Own:’ The Saga of the Blended Family Continues,” I suggested that another major topic, after space, that needs addressing when households combine is how […]

“A Room Of Her Own:” Or How To Try To Create That Impression in the Blended Family

October 6, 2014 by

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One of the biggest fights (shall I say wars?) in blending families and bringing his kids and hers under one roof breaks out when negotiating who owns what space. This is a common cause of tension, and it makes a lasting impression on the child who feels left out or misplaced in his step-parent’s home. […]

Children Who Miss Social Cues–Is It Even Worse Than We Thought?

October 4, 2014 by

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Penny* is in eighth grade, but quite childish. At school she uses a kleenex box to prop up the books on her desk, and it’s become something of an obsession. If someone–innocently–takes a piece of tissue, well, poor Penny crumbles. She has to leave the room to recover her equanimity and wipe her eyes, and […]