Browsing All Posts filed under »Mediation«

Divorcing and Mediating, 101

October 27, 2014 by

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Did you ever get the feeling you might have missed something? (In point of fact, I had that feeling all through organic chemistry, and, since I never really could figure out what I missed–but knew for certain I hadn’t gotten ‘it’–I wisely took a pass on medical school. There’s a moral in that story somewhere–let’s […]

Let’s Get Wonky: The Research on Mediation? Yup–It Really Works

October 26, 2014 by

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There’s nothing I find more satisfying than believing in something–and then knowing that the research backs me up. When it happens the other way it’s a total bummer. But I happen to be in luck on the topic of mediation, for not only do I think it’s a better way to go through your divorce than an […]

Mediation: Good For Me, Good For You, and Good For the Kids

October 25, 2014 by

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 So let’s say you’re in a “what’s in it for me?” stance when the option of mediation is broached. It’s reasonable–you’ve been through a terrible time in your marriage, and you don’t want to get taken for a ride. You’re really stuck: That jerk from the previous post told you for all those years he couldn’t take […]

“I Should’ve Known!”: Signs That Your Date Is Insensitive, Difficult, or Self-Centered

October 24, 2014 by

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Do you remember that commercial where the man is drinking a soda (if I remember correctly), filling his body and coating his teeth with refined sugars and providing nothing in the way of nutrition, and then, in a burst of heaven-sent inspiration, realizes (a bit too late, it seems), “I could’ve had a V8!”? Really, as […]

How In the WORLD Could This Work?: The Possibilities of Mediation

October 17, 2014 by

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Julie* came from a wealthy family–grew up with that proverbial silver spoon practically shoved down her throat. Were her parents thrilled when she met Jim,* who was in and out of jobs and who had never owned or rented his own apartment–and then shared the news that the two would be married within a few […]

“He’s MY Daddy:” Campaigning For Attention in the Blended Family: The Step-Siblings

October 11, 2014 by

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To start your proactive work on preventing rivalry for a parent’s attention between siblings or between children and a new spouse, I recommend that you as the parent and step-parent consciously partition your home time into four parts: time with the blended family all together, time with your spouse alone, time with your own children […]

“Not Necessarily Sacred”: Making Rules For the Blended Family

October 8, 2014 by

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Franklin D. Roosevelt said, in that wonderful bass voice of his: “Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.” Let’s see where that takes us. In my post “‘A Room Of Her Own:’ The Saga of the Blended Family Continues,” I suggested that another major topic, after space, that needs addressing when households combine is how […]

“A Room Of Her Own:” Or How To Try To Create That Impression in the Blended Family

October 6, 2014 by

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One of the biggest fights (shall I say wars?) in blending families and bringing his kids and hers under one roof breaks out when negotiating who owns what space. This is a common cause of tension, and it makes a lasting impression on the child who feels left out or misplaced in his step-parent’s home. […]

The Mediations of the Rich and Famous

September 30, 2014 by

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Pretend, for a moment, that you are a celebrity, with name well-recognized across the world. Got that? Ok, now pretend (and  this may be harder for some of us working stiffs) that your net worth is in the high-hundred millions (is anyone still with me?). Finally (and  this is an easy one, sadly, for all too many […]

“A Room Of Her Own:” The Saga of the Blended Family Continues

August 31, 2014 by

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According to Virginia Woolf, for a woman to succeed in her ambition to write fiction, she “must have money and a room of her own.” Granted your little one may not be attempting to compose the Great American [or in this case, I suppose, British] novel, and her allowance may suffice for now–but if you […]

“He’s MY Daddy:” Campaigning For Attention in the Blended Family

August 30, 2014 by

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Layla* was a shy, reserved, nine-year-old “daddy’s girl” who had done poorly since her parents had divorced and she had lost the full-time emotional support of and connection to her father, Luke.*  Lisa* was divorced from an emotionally abusive man. After several years of dating, she had found the right man, the aforementioned Luke. Lisa and […]

Under My Thumb (X): Taking Back Control (4)

August 19, 2014 by

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So by now you know to pick small battles and win them, to stay away from heated arguments, to plan for change-back moves, and to share your suffering with somebody close to you. What else can you do to crawl out from under the thumb of control?  Start by being cautious of what you tell your […]