Browsing All Posts filed under »Communication«

Does Your Holiday Family Event Make You Itch?

October 25, 2014 by

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Well, you made it through last year’s Thanksgivukkah.  But don’t relax yet; the big season of joy is coming up again fast. Being with your extended family can make you squirm, either due to their direct questions or simply as a results of the difference between your life situation and that of the larger group. […]

“I Should’ve Known!”: Signs That Your Date Is Insensitive, Difficult, or Self-Centered

October 24, 2014 by

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Do you remember that commercial where the man is drinking a soda (if I remember correctly), filling his body and coating his teeth with refined sugars and providing nothing in the way of nutrition, and then, in a burst of heaven-sent inspiration, realizes (a bit too late, it seems), “I could’ve had a V8!”? Really, as […]

Bullying’s Victims: Profile of Our Vulnerable Children. Oct. Is Bullying Prevention Month

October 15, 2014 by

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A story of injustice mixed with justice hit the news yesterday. A Florida sheriff arrested 2 girls (ages 14 and 12) for cyberbullying. Their victim, 12-year-old Rebecca Sedwick, jumped to her death from an abandoned concrete factory.  The Facebook entry from her torturer: “Yes, IK I bullied her Rebecca and she killed herself and IDGAF” […]

Children Who Miss Social Cues–Is It Even Worse Than We Thought?

October 4, 2014 by

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Penny* is in eighth grade, but quite childish. At school she uses a kleenex box to prop up the books on her desk, and it’s become something of an obsession. If someone–innocently–takes a piece of tissue, well, poor Penny crumbles. She has to leave the room to recover her equanimity and wipe her eyes, and […]

Warning Signs Your Date Might Be a Commitment Phobe

October 3, 2014 by

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The truth will out, as it always does. Eventually you will know that your partner is commitment phobic. Perhaps you’ll be like Sally, only to discover after umpteen years of false promises that your man won’t be walking you down the aisle. Or, like Wendy, you may learn that the reason your partner won’t marry you, after […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships: Avoid Financial Betrayal: Be Your Own Detective, REPRISE

September 2, 2014 by

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In my series of posts on Money Matters in Couple Relationships, I wrote several entries regarding how to avoid financial betrayal, and gave some general pieces of advice, as you can see there. I warned in those posts against ignorance of financial matters in a relationship, much as a person might like to abdicate financial responsibility. […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part VII–Avoid Financial Betrayal: Getting Taken to the Cleaners, the Poorhouse, or Worse–to Jail

August 30, 2014 by

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I’d like to return for a bit to the topic of financial issues in couple relationships–see entries below for the beginning of this ‘bloggersation.’ A beautiful woman with a twice-mortgaged house in an expensive suburb finds her husband somewhat less than enamored with her chronic spending. Fights ensue after each purchase that she finds reasonable–a […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part II

August 30, 2014 by

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So, let’s assume, for the moment, that I’m that marriage counselor competent in financial matters mentioned in my last entry, and a couple with an unequal money-power ratio has come to me. Let’s assume you, the reader, are part of that dyad. So, if you’re the controlling spouse, you’re not likely to care what I […]

The Ties that Bind–Up and Over

August 24, 2014 by

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As Mario Puzo informed us–and he ought to know–“The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.” So far, so good. But loyalty to, precisely, which part of the family and when–and what does that have to do with, say, the price of tea in China? […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part IX–Avoid Financial Betrayal: Getting Taken to the Cleaners, the Poorhouse, or Worse–to Jail, ct’d

August 19, 2014 by

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The stories continue: Once a month at bill-paying time Janice* finds her usually fairly easy-going husband belligerent and impossible to talk to. Worse, he is sharply critical of her expenditures–and of her. The lifestyle the couple lives fails to match the income that either or both spouses used to have or pretend to have, but Janice remains […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part IV–How to Communicate About Money: The Checkbook

August 19, 2014 by

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Ok, so you’re working together to create a financial plan acceptable to both of you.  Why not begin with the checkbook? Ask yourselves this question about how to handle the checkbook–do you want one checkbook–or three? Let’s say you like the first option, of having just one checkbook. So you’ve got a joint account. The […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part V–Laws for Checking Accounts

August 18, 2014 by

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No matter which way you decide to divide the checkbook, there should be three laws for checking accounts in a good marriage, according to Opdyke. 1. The Law of Autonomy: In this case, each spouse is allowed to use a certain amount of money each month however s/he desires, no questions asked. Save it, spend […]