Browsing All Posts filed under »Blended Families«

“A Room Of Her Own:” Or How To Try To Create That Impression in the Blended Family, Part II

October 14, 2014 by


Not being an interior designer, nor in possession of the perfect algorithm for creating peace in public spaces among warring step-sibs, I can just suggest a few ideas as you work together to share space among your newly-created family. But I do know that everyone needs their space. I’m reminded of the story of Ronda* […]

“He’s MY Daddy:” Campaigning For Attention in the Blended Family: New Spouse vs. Children

October 12, 2014 by


To finish off this series on the blended family, let’s address what happens when the ones campaigning for attention of a certain parent are a child–and the new spouse. Look, let’s face it. Your child has very little cause to be invested in your new marriage. Either he’d like things to go back the way […]

“He’s MY Daddy:” Campaigning For Attention in the Blended Family: The Step-Siblings

October 11, 2014 by


To start your proactive work on preventing rivalry for a parent’s attention between siblings or between children and a new spouse, I recommend that you as the parent and step-parent consciously partition your home time into four parts: time with the blended family all together, time with your spouse alone, time with your own children […]

“Not Necessarily Sacred”: Making Rules For the Blended Family

October 8, 2014 by


Franklin D. Roosevelt said, in that wonderful bass voice of his: “Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.” Let’s see where that takes us. In my post “‘A Room Of Her Own:’ The Saga of the Blended Family Continues,” I suggested that another major topic, after space, that needs addressing when households combine is how […]

“A Room Of Her Own:” Or How To Try To Create That Impression in the Blended Family

October 6, 2014 by


One of the biggest fights (shall I say wars?) in blending families and bringing his kids and hers under one roof breaks out when negotiating who owns what space. This is a common cause of tension, and it makes a lasting impression on the child who feels left out or misplaced in his step-parent’s home. […]

Blended Families–Instruction Sheet, continued

September 26, 2014 by


Lessons 1-7 are in the the post below, Blended Families–Part III. 8. Avoid areas staked out by the child’s own parent. If your step-son says, “Dad says he’ll teach me to sail,” don’t run out to the nearest shipyard. 9. Sometimes it can take until adulthood for the step-children to realize the caring and special […]

Blended Families–Part VI– Parenting Your Own Children When You Remarry

September 6, 2014 by


Let’s start with: Lessons for Parenting Your Own Children When You Remarry. 1. Work to reduce your children’s feelings of loss as they share you with your new partner–and perhaps other childen. Work to do this by continuing to spend time alone with them. Note 2 things: A. Your children will want as much exclusive […]

“A Room Of Her Own:” The Saga of the Blended Family Continues

August 31, 2014 by


According to Virginia Woolf, for a woman to succeed in her ambition to write fiction, she “must have money and a room of her own.” Granted your little one may not be attempting to compose the Great American [or in this case, I suppose, British] novel, and her allowance may suffice for now–but if you […]

“He’s MY Daddy:” Campaigning For Attention in the Blended Family

August 30, 2014 by


Layla* was a shy, reserved, nine-year-old “daddy’s girl” who had done poorly since her parents had divorced and she had lost the full-time emotional support of and connection to her father, Luke.*  Lisa* was divorced from an emotionally abusive man. After several years of dating, she had found the right man, the aforementioned Luke. Lisa and […]

“Who You Gonna Call?”: Others’ Prayers Impact On Illness, Redux

September 24, 2012 by


My mother likes to compliment herself on her cooking. “That was truly delicious!” she’ll exclaim, her mouth still full of her last bite of a fancy beef stew. “And I was able to make it during such a hectic day. It’s great to be organized.” Truth is, her cooking is great–but the point is that […]

Blended Families–Instruction Sheet

December 4, 2011 by


So, some lessons for the step-parent: (Some of these thoughts are based on How to Win as  Step-Family by Visher and Visher.) 1. Don’t come on too strong, overwhelming step-children and setting up expectations you can’t meet. Hold back and let your step-children approach you. 2. Acknowledge that the relationship between you and your step-children is just […]