Browsing All posts tagged under »Marriage«

Fantasy vs. Reality in Long-Term Relationships

February 20, 2012 by

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Well, I’ve talked myself out for the moment on the topic of mediation, but thought it might help us to take about 10 giant-“Mother-May-I” steps backwards–to the time when you looked at your to-be-spouse and saw only potential, positivity–and here’s the scary one–perfection. Have you ever found yourself believing your partner to be perfect, in […]

How In the WORLD Could This Work?: The Possibilities of Mediation (and How You Might Have Achieved Mental Illness Without Looking)

February 17, 2012 by

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Julie came from a wealthy family–grew up with that proverbial silver spoon practically shoved down her throat. Were her parents thrilled when she met Jim, whose highest vocational training had occurred at McDonald’s and who had never owned or rented his own apartment–and then shared the news that the two would be married within a […]

“He’s MY Daddy:” Campaigning For Attention in the Blended Family: New Spouse vs. Children

February 12, 2012 by

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To finish off this series on the blended family, let’s address what happens when the ones campaigning for attention of a certain parent are a child–and the new spouse. Look, let’s face it. Your child has very little cause to be invested in your new marriage. Either he’d like things to go back the way […]

The Triangle–What It Looks Like In Family Life

January 16, 2012 by

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Molly is a difficult [in my more honest moments I think of her as nearly tyrannical] early adolescent, who makes her mother’s life a horror. She picks on Mom’s clothes, her hairstyle–the way she chews her toast in the morning. It seems little escapes Molly’s critical eye, despite the fact that her mother Marge has […]

All In the Family: The Triangle–In Theory

January 15, 2012 by

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As you may have noticed from that genogram on the first post, family systems therapists are into shapes. A line, a squiggle, a square with an ‘X’ through it–these make our days. But the fundamental unit of relationship is that beautiful, potentially-pythagorean shape: the triangle. Of course, you might argue, isn’t the fundamental unit of […]

Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Changing the Ground Rules #1: Losing a Career

January 10, 2012 by

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Before I leave the topic of issues to consider when you’re thinking of leaving your marriage, I wanted to bring up a few situations that make the decision to stay or go vastly more complicated. What happens in a marriage, and are you obligated to stay, when the very ground rules of that marriage have been […]

Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Changing the Ground Rules: Some Suggestions

January 9, 2012 by

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What do you do when faced with a situation like Trish’s, where your partner loses a career and becomes a mere shadow of him or herself? Or one like Timothy’s, where your life’s mate morphs into someone you don’t know at all? Or one where you’ve become more a nurse-maid than a spouse? Of primary […]

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