Browsing All posts tagged under »Finances«

When Two Become One–What You Should Know About Your Finances As a Unit

January 4, 2012 by

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Still thinking about some of those questions posed on posts on couple finances? Wondering about the risks of becoming a financial unit with another person? If you are really ready to join financial forces with your partner, you should know the answers to the following questions–and have a plan if the answers are somewhat less […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships: Avoid Financial Betrayal: Getting Taken to the Cleaners, the Poorhouse, or Worse–to Jail: Be Your Own Detective, REPRISE

January 2, 2012 by

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In my series of posts on Money Matters in Couple Relationships, I wrote several entries regarding how to avoid financial betrayal, and gave some general pieces of advice, as you can see there. I warned in those posts against ignorance of financial matters in a relationship, much as a person might like to abdicate financial responsibility. […]

Getting Taken to the Cleaners, the Poorhouse, or Worse–to Jail

December 12, 2011 by

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As much as your friends and family would love to protect you, it’s really your own job to avoid being betrayed financially, as you’re the one who has all the clues. Be your own detective regarding financially improper or criminal behavior. But how do you read those clues, and what should you be looking for? […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part X–Avoid Financial Betrayal: Getting Taken to the Cleaners, the Poorhouse, or Worse–to Jail, ct’d

December 12, 2011 by

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Besides the more elaborate and dramatic financial narratives, there are scenarios that can be covered in several sentences, but that should serve as models of what to look out for, or what can happen to the person who isn’t looking out. For example, an 80-year-old widow comes to my office filled with fear, rage, sadness […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part IX–Avoid Financial Betrayal: Getting Taken to the Cleaners, the Poorhouse, or Worse–to Jail, ct’d

December 11, 2011 by

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The stories continue: Once a month at bill-paying time Janice finds her usually fairly easy-going husband belligerent and impossible to talk to. Worse, he is sharply critical of her expenditures–and of her. The lifestyle the couple lives fails to match the income that either or both spouses used to have or pretend to have, but Janice remains […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part VIII–Avoid Financial Betrayal: Getting Taken to the Cleaners, the Poorhouse, or Worse–to Jail, ct’d

December 11, 2011 by

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Some more stories from my practice–and what to watch out for: A couple I saw decides to go into business together. The husband has all the training–he offers practice management seminars for dentists. The word around town is that he’s an excellent dentist–and a strong teacher. The wife, who previously had worked at the front desk […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part VII–Avoid Financial Betrayal: Getting Taken to the Cleaners, the Poorhouse, or Worse–to Jail

December 10, 2011 by

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I’d like to return for a bit to the topic of financial issues in couple relationships–see entries below for the beginning of this ‘bloggersation.’ I include here, with identifying details disguised, a number of cases from my practice. While the client stories are interesting, within each one is embedded a series of ‘What To Look […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part VI–Dividing Financial Responsibilities

December 9, 2011 by

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So if you’ve spent some time thinking about it, in an organized fashion, you’ll probably realize that there are fundamentally only four different permutations of ways to divide financial responsibilities. You’ll also probably be intimately familiar with one of them. One option: One partner takes control of the family’s finances, and the other partner is […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part V–Laws for Checking Accounts

December 9, 2011 by

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No matter which way you decide to divide the checkbook, there should be three laws for checking accounts in a good marriage, according to Opdyke. 1. The Law of Autonomy: In this case, each spouse is allowed to use a certain amount of money each month however s/he desires, no questions asked. Save it, spend […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part IV–How to Communicate About Money: The Checkbook

December 8, 2011 by

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Ok, so you’re working together to create a financial plan acceptable to both of you.  Why not begin with the checkbook? Ask yourselves this question about how to handle the checkbook–do you want one checkbook–or three? Let’s say you like the first option, of having just one checkbook. So you’ve got a joint account. The […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part III–How to Communicate About Money

December 8, 2011 by

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So you’ve bought into my proposition in my last entry that unequal financial power that is not discussed will lead to distancing everywhere, including the bedroom.  But how should couples communicate about such a difficult topic? Let’s start with a few basics. Approach one another when one or both of you recognize an issue is […]

Money Matters in Couple Relationships–Part II

December 8, 2011 by

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So, let’s assume, for the moment, that I’m that marriage counselor competent in financial matters mentioned in my last entry, and a couple with an unequal money-power ratio has come to me. Let’s assume you, the reader, are part of that dyad. So, if you’re the controlling spouse, you’re not likely to care what I […]

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