Browsing All posts tagged under »candida abrahamson«

Fantasy vs. Reality in Long-Term Relationships

February 20, 2012 by

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Well, I’ve talked myself out for the moment on the topic of mediation, but thought it might help us to take about 10 giant-“Mother-May-I” steps backwards–to the time when you looked at your to-be-spouse and saw only potential, positivity–and here’s the scary one–perfection. Have you ever found yourself believing your partner to be perfect, in […]

Knitting up “the raveled sleave of care”: Sleep and Bipolar Disorder

January 31, 2012 by

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Sleep. I, for one, am a huge fan. I love that feeling of drifting off, right before my consciousness checks out, and I adore that well-rested feeling I have when I first open my eyes after a productively-slept night. [Those nights are becoming fewer and farther between as I age, but that's just another one […]

Of Bipolar Disorder, The Hippocampus, and The Return of the Exercise Fiend

January 30, 2012 by

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My mother highly valued intelligence, and her way of putting down someone she saw as sub-par in the smarts department was saying, “He’s no brain surgeon, I’ll tell you that.” But I, literally, am no brain surgeon, so to discuss this latest research I have to do one of those “let’s start at the very […]

Running For Your Life: How I View Depression and Exercise

January 28, 2012 by

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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. ~Phyllis Diller Unlike the lovely Ms. Diller, I love to exercise. It gets me going in the morning, it gives me energy throughout the day, it fights the ravages of age. I love it enough to want to talk about it–a lot. I like to discuss […]

Depression and Eating Right, or ‘The Twinkie Defense’–Part II

January 27, 2012 by

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So back to Dan White, the San Francisco city supervisor who had been let go–and had returned to plow bullets into Mayor George Moscone and his own supervisor, Harvey Milk. And how he got away with, well, murder. To make a complex story somewhat less so, White definitely did not see eye-to-eye with Milk, his […]

Not Waving But Drowning: Working to Stay Afloat When Depression Strikes

January 25, 2012 by

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“Depression is a disorder of mood, so mysteriously painful and elusive in the way it becomes known to the self-to the mediating intellect-as to verge close to being beyond description. It thus remains nearly incomprehensible to those who have not experienced it in its extreme mode.” ~ William Styron, in Darkness Visible Depression is truly […]

But I got here first!: How birth order can effect sibling roles

January 24, 2012 by

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I’m a bit of a softie for sibling roles in family dynamics, and although there are definite limits to the validity of utilizing birth order to explain behavioral and personality traits, some value yet remains. Older research asserted a variety of characteristics to various birth-ordered children. It ranges from the 1975 Wark, Swanson and Mack […]

The Family Hero, or “Morticia and the Psychiatrist”: Part I

January 22, 2012 by

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Remember the wondrously insane and macabre Addams family? (“They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky/They’re all together ooky. . . .”) They were the anti-Partridge family, the inverse Brady Bunch, fabulously perverse, with two ghastly children, Wednesday (as in “Wednesday’s child is full of woe”), and her partner-in-crime Pugsley, whose unique hobby is stealing […]

The Family Hero, or “Morticia and the Psychiatrist”–Part II

January 21, 2012 by

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In his book, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls, Robert Burney writes that “there are four basic roles that children adopt in order to survive growing up in emotionally dishonest, shame-based, dysfunctional family systems.” The children take these roles because they sense that the family’s dysfunction is so great, without their wearing the mantle of […]

All in the Family: The Genie in the Genogram

January 21, 2012 by

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As some of the past posts have shown (take the post on triangles, for example), utilizing the genogram within the family systems approach often has significant explanatory powers for why a person finds him or herself stuck within current relational patterns. But it can do more than that, too, I believe, if we use it to […]

The Triangle–What It Looks Like In Family Life

January 16, 2012 by

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Molly is a difficult [in my more honest moments I think of her as nearly tyrannical] early adolescent, who makes her mother’s life a horror. She picks on Mom’s clothes, her hairstyle–the way she chews her toast in the morning. It seems little escapes Molly’s critical eye, despite the fact that her mother Marge has […]

All In the Family: The Triangle–In Theory

January 15, 2012 by

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As you may have noticed from that genogram on the first post, family systems therapists are into shapes. A line, a squiggle, a square with an ‘X’ through it–these make our days. But the fundamental unit of relationship is that beautiful, potentially-pythagorean shape: the triangle. Of course, you might argue, isn’t the fundamental unit of […]

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