Browsing All Posts filed under »Secrecy«

July is the (don’t hold your breath) Bebe Moore Campbell National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month

July 11, 2013 by


Giving the lie to the common assertion that Congress accomplishes nothing, in the 110th Congress, in 2007, Rep. Albert Wynn, a Democrat from Maryland who represented the 4th district from 1993 to 2008, brought to the floor a bill for which he would soon have many co-sponsors, and which he would succeed in passing in 2008, […]

Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Problem Marriages #3–Marriages That Begin in Subterfuge

January 1, 2012 by


Susan* had always been agentic, had known from her visit to Cornell that she wanted to and would go there, had known from her initial interview with Price Waterhouse Coopers that she wanted to and would work there–and had known very shortly after meeting Chris that she wanted to and would marry him. Susan, it […]

Privacy, Secrets and Shame–Part XII: How to Reveal a Secret–When Kids Have the Right to Know

December 19, 2011 by


So we left off with the concept that if a secret affects children, those children have the right to know. This does not mean that you can use children to unburden yourself, like my patient did with her eldest daughter and her husband’s affair. That will yield only damage; your child is not your father-confessor. But the same reason […]

Privacy, Secrets and Shame–Part X: How to Reveal a Secret

December 19, 2011 by


So you’re convinced, due to some circumstance or another, that the time has come to reveal your secret, and relieve yourself of the burden of shame and hiding that has weighed you down for so long. NOW what? Well, best of all would be to use some common sense, I suppose. Public service announcements, revelations during […]

Privacy, Secrets and Shame–Part IX: Why to Reveal a Secret

December 18, 2011 by


“A nuerosis is a secret that you don’t know you are keeping.” Thus wrote English theater critic and writer Kenneth Tynan, and with these words he opens the conversation about the damage a secret does to the secret-keeper himself. So let’s take a step away for a moment from some of the family-dynamic reasons for […]

Privacy, Shame and Secrets–Part VIII: Hidden in Plain Sight, ct’d

December 17, 2011 by


So we return to secrets hidden in plain sight, and particularly to Miriam’s* mentally unstable father, Max,* whom everyone seemed to know about, but no one actually mentioned. Max didn’t come out during the day. Ever. When there were certain things he wanted–usually food requests, he never wanted clothes or books or gifts for the […]

Privacy, Shame and Secrets–Part VII: Hidden in Plain Sight

December 17, 2011 by


“Brilliant!” Harry whispered. “If everyone knows, no one will suspect it’s a secret!” No, it isn’t really “the Harry” that we’ve come to know and love via Ms. Rowling. It’s rather from a takeoff of the Potter series, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong. [Feel free to see if this idea appeals to […]


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