Do you remember that commercial where the man is drinking a soda (if I remember correctly), filling his body and coating his teeth with refined sugars and providing nothing in the way of nutrition, and then, in a burst of heaven-sent inspiration, realizes (a bit too late, it seems), “I could’ve had a V8!”? Really, as […]
February 19, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
Pretend, for a moment, that you are a celebrity, with name well-recognized across the world. Got that? Ok, now pretend (and this may be harder for some of us working stiffs) that your net worth is in the high-hundred millions (is anyone still with me?). Finally (and this is an easy one, sadly, for all too many […]
February 17, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
Did you ever get the feeling you might have missed something? (In point of fact, I had that feeling all through organic chemistry, and, since I never really could figure out what I missed–but knew for certain I hadn’t gotten ‘it’–I wisely took a pass on medical school. There’s a moral in that story somewhere–let’s […]
February 17, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
Julie came from a wealthy family–grew up with that proverbial silver spoon practically shoved down her throat. Were her parents thrilled when she met Jim, whose highest vocational training had occurred at McDonald’s and who had never owned or rented his own apartment–and then shared the news that the two would be married within a […]
February 16, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
There’s nothing I find more satisfying than believing in something–and then knowing that the research backs me up. When it happens the other way it’s a total bummer. But I happen to be in luck on the topic of mediation, for not only do I think it’s a better way to go through your divorce than an […]
February 15, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson So let’s say you’re in a “what’s in it for me?” stance when the option of mediation is broached. It’s reasonable–you’ve been through a terrible time in your marriage, and you don’t want to get taken for a ride. You’re […]
February 14, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
You’d always wanted to go with your ex-husband to Hawaii–you asked year after year, but the answer was always the same. “Sorry, hon, there’s just not enough money for a trip like that. You know business is rough. Maybe next year.” But next year and next year and many more next years came–and the money […]
February 11, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
To start your proactive work on preventing rivalry for a parent’s attention between siblings or between children and a new spouse, I recommend that you as the parent and step-parent consciously partition your home time into four parts: time with the blended family all together, time with your spouse alone, time with your own children […]
February 10, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
Layla was a shy, reserved, nine-year-old “daddy’s girl” who had done poorly since her parents had divorced and she had lost the full-time emotional support of and connection to her father. Lisa was my patient, whom I had seen through a divorce from an emotionally abusive man and several years of dating, and she now knew […]
February 8, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
Franklin D. Roosevelt said, in that wonderful bass voice of his: “Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.” Let’s see where that takes us. In my post “‘A Room Of Her Own:’ The Saga of the Blended Family Continues,” I suggested that another major topic, after space, that needs addressing when households combine is how […]
February 6, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
One of the biggest fights (shall I say wars?) in blending families and bringing his kids and hers under one roof breaks out when negotiating who owns what space. This is a common cause of tension, and it makes a lasting impression on the child who feels left out or misplaced in his step-parent’s home. […]
February 5, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
According to Virginia Woolf, for a woman to succeed in her ambition to write fiction, she “must have money and a room of her own.” Granted your little one may not be attempting to compose the Great American [or in this case, I suppose, British] novel, and her allowance may suffice for now–but if you […]
March 30, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
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