Browsing All Posts filed under »Family Roles«

Does Your Holiday Family Event Make You Itch?

December 5, 2013 by

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Well, you made it through Thanksgivukkah.  But don’t relax yet; the big season of joy is coming up fast. Being with your extended family can make you squirm, either due to their direct questions or simply as a results of the difference between your life situation and that of the larger group. If something important […]

Raising Nice Adults: Overfunctioning for Your Already Launched Adult Children

October 28, 2013 by

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Over a year ago I posted several blogs on helping to launch your young adults who haven’t yet found work, job, insurance, or significant other.  See “Fixing We’ll Just Fix It For You: Letting Your Children be Adults: the Two Principles,” and“But What If? Adult Children with Extenuating Circumstances.”  Recently, an extended version of that […]

Who Owns the Overweight Problem: National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month

September 17, 2013 by

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Everybody worries about a chubby child.  Thin parents and overweight parents, especially those who suffered from fat-kid syndrome themselves.  Even Michelle Obama weighs in on this topic. Yet nobody knows what to do about it, except make September a National Child Obesity Awareness Month. Thanks a lot. One thing surely won’t work: a parent trying […]

The Ties that Bind–Up and Over

February 4, 2012 by

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As Mario Puzo informed us–and he ought to know–“The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.” So far, so good. But loyalty to, precisely, which part of the family and when–and what does that have to do with, say, the price of tea in China? […]

The Family Hero, or “Morticia and the Psychiatrist”: Part I

January 22, 2012 by

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Remember the wondrously insane and macabre Addams family? (“They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky/They’re all together ooky. . . .”) They were the anti-Partridge family, the inverse Brady Bunch, fabulously perverse, with two ghastly children, Wednesday (as in “Wednesday’s child is full of woe”), and her partner-in-crime Pugsley, whose unique hobby is stealing […]

The Family Hero, or “Morticia and the Psychiatrist”–Part II

January 21, 2012 by

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In his book, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls, Robert Burney writes that “there are four basic roles that children adopt in order to survive growing up in emotionally dishonest, shame-based, dysfunctional family systems.” The children take these roles because they sense that the family’s dysfunction is so great, without their wearing the mantle of […]

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