Browsing All Posts filed under »Controlling spouses«

The Mediations of the Rich and Famous

February 19, 2012 by

0

Pretend, for a moment, that you are a celebrity, with name well-recognized across the world. Got that? Ok, now pretend (and  this may be harder for some of us working stiffs) that your net worth is in the high-hundred millions (is anyone still with me?). Finally (and  this is an easy one, sadly, for all too many […]

Under My Thumb (X): Taking Back Control (4)

December 26, 2011 by

1

So by now you know to pick small battles and win them, to stay away from heated arguments, to plan for change-back moves, and to share your suffering with somebody close to you. What else can you do to crawl out from under the thumb of control?  Start by being cautious of what you tell your […]

Under My Thumb–Controlling Spouses, Part XIII: Taking Back Control #7: Mop-up

December 25, 2011 by

0

So we’ve gone through some crucial control-reassertion moves, talked about how to deal with change-back moves, addressed what your fears might be–and quoted my son not once but twice. Not bad for a day’s work. But there are still a few ideas I’d like to get across before I close the topic of controlling spouses. […]

Under My Thumb–Controlling Spouses, Part XII: Taking Back Control #6: What Am I Afraid Of?

December 25, 2011 by

0

Having acknowledged in the past post that simply forgiving your spouse’s controlling behaviors, and sweeping your own anger under the rug, is not a way to either improve your situation or achieve self-respect, let us return to steps you should take in the process of taking back control. This next one is less of a […]

Under My Thumb–Controlling Spouses, Part XI: Taking Back Control #5, What About Forgiveness?

December 25, 2011 by

0

I left off with the question that all connected people must ask after anger or betrayal: Isn’t there room for forgiveness, or, more-so, haven’t we always learned that it’s better to forgive than to hang on to a hurt, or, as I’ve been suggesting, respond by asserting ourselves strongly–and letting our partner know that that’s […]

Under My Thumb–Controlling Spouses, Part IX: Taking Back Control #3

December 25, 2011 by

1

So we’ve addressed the importance of picking and winning small battles, as well as of not entering into an argument with your spouse on topics on which there’s really no ‘winning.’ What else can you do to get out from under your partner’s thumb? First, I need to emphasize the importance of having a safety […]

Under My Thumb–Controlling Spouses, Part VIII: Taking Back Control #2

December 24, 2011 by

1

We left off with the story of Lou, the poorly behaved terrior, who got whipped into shape in the last post with a little bit of tough love. That story has a couple of lessons about control that are crucial when you’re ready to re-assert yourself. Near top on the list of how to regain […]

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 552 other followers