Browsing All Posts filed under »Controlling spouses«

The Mediations of the Rich and Famous

September 30, 2014 by


Pretend, for a moment, that you are a celebrity, with name well-recognized across the world. Got that? Ok, now pretend (and  this may be harder for some of us working stiffs) that your net worth is in the high-hundred millions (is anyone still with me?). Finally (and  this is an easy one, sadly, for all too many […]

Under My Thumb–Controlling Spouses, Part III

September 3, 2014 by


In the past examples the spouses came across as more aggressive and demanding. But Norah and Tali were different. Let’s look at two controlling women who passively managed to get their spouses to do their bidding. Norah never learned to drive. Norm encouraged her repeatedly throughout the years of their marriage, but she said she […]

Under My Thumb–Controlling Spouses, Part V: Warning Signs

September 1, 2014 by


So you’ve read about Connie, about Kyle, about Norah, Diane, Tali, and Janice, and I’m confident you’ve gotten the ideas from these case histories that all is not right in the state of Denmark.  You probably also would like to make sure your marriage or relationship doesn’t turn out like the relationships of any of […]

Under My Thumb–Controlling Spouses, Part IX: Taking Back Control #3

August 22, 2014 by


So we’ve addressed the importance of picking and winning small battles, as well as of not entering into an argument with your spouse on topics on which there’s really no ‘winning.’ What else can you do to get out from under your partner’s thumb? First, I need to emphasize the importance of having a safety […]

Under My Thumb (X): Taking Back Control (4)

August 19, 2014 by


So by now you know to pick small battles and win them, to stay away from heated arguments, to plan for change-back moves, and to share your suffering with somebody close to you. What else can you do to crawl out from under the thumb of control?  Start by being cautious of what you tell your […]

Under My Thumb–Controlling Spouses, Part VII: Taking Back Control #1

August 18, 2014 by


At one end of the relationship gradation is patriarchal violence [and, as I've mentioned before, if you are in a physically abusive relationship in which you are beaten to the point of physical harm, this blog is not for you. In that case you need to get out of your house to a safe place, […]

Under My Thumb–Controlling Spouses, Part IV: When is Control Abuse?

August 15, 2014 by


I’d like to briefly address in this post the fine line between the controlling spouse and the abusive one. The controlling partner can, you feel, cause you to behave in ways you don’t want to avoid his/her anger, but I’d suggest that the level of fear you feel in regards to your spouse’s displeasure differs […]


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