To finish off this series on the blended family, let’s address what happens when the ones campaigning for attention of a certain parent are a child–and the new spouse. Look, let’s face it. Your child has very little cause to be invested in your new marriage. Either he’d like things to go back the way […]
February 11, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
To start your proactive work on preventing rivalry for a parent’s attention between siblings or between children and a new spouse, I recommend that you as the parent and step-parent consciously partition your home time into four parts: time with the blended family all together, time with your spouse alone, time with your own children […]
February 10, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
Layla was a shy, reserved, nine-year-old “daddy’s girl” who had done poorly since her parents had divorced and she had lost the full-time emotional support of and connection to her father. Lisa was my patient, whom I had seen through a divorce from an emotionally abusive man and several years of dating, and she now knew […]
February 8, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
Franklin D. Roosevelt said, in that wonderful bass voice of his: “Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.” Let’s see where that takes us. In my post “‘A Room Of Her Own:’ The Saga of the Blended Family Continues,” I suggested that another major topic, after space, that needs addressing when households combine is how […]
February 7, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
Not being an interior designer, nor in possession of the perfect algorithm for creating peace in public spaces among warring step-sibs, I can just suggest a few ideas as you work together to share space among your newly-created family. But I do know that everyone needs their space. I’m reminded of the story of Ronda […]
February 6, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
One of the biggest fights (shall I say wars?) in blending families and bringing his kids and hers under one roof breaks out when negotiating who owns what space. This is a common cause of tension, and it makes a lasting impression on the child who feels left out or misplaced in his step-parent’s home. […]
February 5, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
According to Virginia Woolf, for a woman to succeed in her ambition to write fiction, she “must have money and a room of her own.” Granted your little one may not be attempting to compose the Great American [or in this case, I suppose, British] novel, and her allowance may suffice for now–but if you […]
December 7, 2011 by candidaabrahamson
A parting link: Stepfamily Problems | American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry via Stepfamily Problems | American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.
December 6, 2011 by candidaabrahamson
So let’s divide up what we’ve seen so far, from Part I of this series and also from the IJK Family case history, into categories of lessons that specific groups of people can learn. Let’s start with: Lessons for Parenting Your Own Children When You Remarry. 1. Work to reduce your children’s feelings of loss as they share […]
December 6, 2011 by candidaabrahamson
http://www.smartmarriages.com/stepfamily.tips.html
December 5, 2011 by candidaabrahamson
Lessons 1-7 are in the the post below, Blended Families–Part III. 8. Avoid areas staked out by the child’s own parent. If your step-son says, “Dad says he’ll teach me to sail,” don’t run out to the nearest shipyard. 9. Sometimes it can take until adulthood for the step-children to realize the caring and special […]
December 4, 2011 by candidaabrahamson
With Lucille’s and Larry’s predicament in mind from the last post, we can take a step back and think about how best to avoid this scenario from the get–go. Some of these thoughts are based on How to Win as Step-Family by Visher and Visher. So, some lessons for the step-parent: 1. Don’t come on too strong, […]
February 12, 2012 by candidaabrahamson
0