Browsing All Posts filed under »Blended Families«

“He’s MY Daddy:” Campaigning For Attention in the Blended Family: New Spouse vs. Children

February 12, 2012 by

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To finish off this series on the blended family, let’s address what happens when the ones campaigning for attention of a certain parent are a child–and the new spouse. Look, let’s face it. Your child has very little cause to be invested in your new marriage. Either he’d like things to go back the way […]

“He’s MY Daddy:” Campaigning For Attention in the Blended Family: The Step-Siblings

February 11, 2012 by

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To start your proactive work on preventing rivalry for a parent’s attention between siblings or between children and a new spouse, I recommend that you as the parent and step-parent consciously partition your home time into four parts: time with the blended family all together, time with your spouse alone, time with your own children […]

“He’s MY Daddy:” Campaigning For Attention in the Blended Family

February 10, 2012 by

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Layla was a shy, reserved, nine-year-old “daddy’s girl” who had done poorly since her parents had divorced and she had lost the full-time emotional support of and connection to her father. Lisa was my patient, whom  I had seen through a divorce from an emotionally abusive man and several years of dating, and she now knew […]

“Not Necessarily Sacred”: Making Rules For the Blended Family

February 8, 2012 by

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Franklin D. Roosevelt said, in that wonderful bass voice of his: “Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.” Let’s see where that takes us. In my post “‘A Room Of Her Own:’ The Saga of the Blended Family Continues,” I suggested that another major topic, after space, that needs addressing when households combine is how […]

“A Room Of Her Own:” Or How To Try To Create That Impression in the Blended Family, Part II

February 7, 2012 by

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Not being an interior designer, nor in possession of the perfect algorithm for creating peace in public spaces among warring step-sibs, I can just suggest a few ideas as you work together to share space among your newly-created family. But I do know that everyone needs their space. I’m reminded of the story of Ronda […]

“A Room Of Her Own:” Or How To Try To Create That Impression in the Blended Family

February 6, 2012 by

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One of the biggest fights (shall I say wars?) in blending families and bringing his kids and hers under one roof breaks out when negotiating who owns what space. This is a common cause of tension, and it makes a lasting impression on the child who feels left out or misplaced in his step-parent’s home. […]

“A Room Of Her Own:” The Saga of the Blended Family Continues

February 5, 2012 by

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According to Virginia Woolf, for a woman to succeed in her ambition to write fiction, she “must have money and a room of her own.” Granted your little one may not be attempting to compose the Great American [or in this case, I suppose, British] novel, and her allowance may suffice for now–but if you […]

Blended Families–Part VI– Parenting Your Own Children When You Remarry

December 6, 2011 by

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Let’s start with: Lessons for Parenting Your Own Children When You Remarry. 1. Work to reduce your children’s feelings of loss as they share you with your new partner–and perhaps other childen. Work to do this by continuing to spend time alone with them. Note 2 things: A. Your children will want as much exclusive […]

Blended Families–Part IV

December 5, 2011 by

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Lessons 1-7 are in the the post below, Blended Families–Part III. 8. Avoid areas staked out by the child’s own parent. If your step-son says, “Dad says he’ll teach me to sail,” don’t run out to the nearest shipyard. 9. Sometimes it can take until adulthood for the step-children to realize the caring and special […]

Blended Families–Part III

December 4, 2011 by

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So, some lessons for the step-parent: (Some of these thoughts are based on How to Win as  Step-Family by Visher and Visher.) 1. Don’t come on too strong, overwhelming step-children and setting up expectations you can’t meet. Hold back and let your step-children approach you. 2. Acknowledge that the relationship between you and your step-children is just […]

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