Browsing All Posts filed under »Bereavement«

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To–or How We Die

July 14, 2014 by

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Kelly had been a real touchy-feely all her life, so her choice about how she wanted to go surprised me–but, as I reminded her distraught daughters, it was her choice that mattered. It’s become trendy nowadays to make our last days into something of a memorial smorgasborg. We’re encouraged to write poems to our grandkids, […]

Why The Armed Forces Are Looking to Black Women For Answers: Suicide in the Military, Part III: And the Soldiers??

June 20, 2012 by

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“I Will Survive!”: But Can You Teach That To The Armed Forces? And, really–can you? That’s the question on everybody’s mind? For we began discussion with the devastating suicide statistics in the military, which contrasted so starkly with those of black women. And then we analyzed what made these women so resilient, frequently despite markedly […]

Why The Armed Forces Are Looking to Black Women For Answers: Suicide in the Military, Part II: What Protects Black Women?

June 19, 2012 by

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We left off yesterday with a run-down of the devastating statistics of suicide in the military (one a day, so far, for 2012), and the VA’s knowledge that it has to act–and fast. And in what sounds like a decision made in theatre,  in their search for answers, the VA turned to black women, the […]

Why The Armed Forces Are Looking to Black Women For Answers: Suicide in the Military, Part I

June 18, 2012 by

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“Civilizations die from suicide, not by murder.” ~ Arnold J. Toynbee Suicide is the ultimate expression of abandonment of hope, of an inability to see a better future, of the experience of agony too great to suffer a moment more. It is a death that comes when  the spirit has gone before it. And I’d […]

‘Money Has Never Made Man Happy’: But. . .Therapy Has–Apparently 32X More Efficiently Than Money

June 10, 2012 by

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“Money has never made man happy, nor will it, there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more of it one has the more one wants.” ~ Benjamin Franklin Benjamin Franklin knew a lot on an extensively large variety of topics –and pretty much liked to tell everyone about it at any opportunity. It […]

End-of-Life Decision Factors: Don’t Forget Your Doctor’s Religiosity

May 14, 2012 by

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(picture by luigi diamanti) The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. ~Flora Whittemore We spend our lives making decisions that will impact the rest of our days on this earth. We pick a career, select a mate, decide to have children and how many, make lifestyle choices that effect our health,  move […]

A Retraction Here, A Retraction There. . .A Few Upsetting ‘Whats’ Before The ‘Why’

April 26, 2012 by

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 “A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you’re talking real money” ~attributed to Everett Dirksen Unfortunately for us, the phrase goes differently–and, in cancer research, we’re already talking about ‘real money.’ A retraction of a scientific paper on cancer here, a retraction there. . .and pretty soon you’re talking about a real fiasco–for scientists, […]

A Cell Donation Day That Will Live in Infamy–Part I

April 23, 2012 by

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Henrietta Lacks was young, poor, unassuming, African-American. From Virginia, she earned her living as a tobacco farmer, happily married, had five children, and died of cervical cancer at 31. But her story doesn’t end there. In pain and bleeding as the cancer took its toll, she was tested for syphilis and treated for venereal disease–but certainly […]

Why DO The Texts Keep Getting Bigger?: DSM’s Tendency to Pathologize the Normal

April 20, 2012 by

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Each subsequent publication of the DSM has gotten progressively larger. We can only imagine what sort of tote bag we’ll need for the upcoming DSM-5. Now, this doesn’t bother me for its own sake, really. I don’t go on family vacations with the latest volume of the DSM along for light reading. What concerns me […]

Faking Grief: When an Expression Reveals the Truth

April 18, 2012 by

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My son–now a professor, an educator of today’s youth, a scientist in search of truth–was, in his salad days, a world-class faker. He particularly perfected his art when it came to faking illness in order to get out of school. Our growing skepticism spurred him to new heights of creativity, and his theatrics were something […]

Complicated Bereavement: Mourning Someone You Never Really Knew

April 15, 2012 by

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Well, I never really knew you ’til you said goodbye~Vince Gill If you want to know something about bereavement that slides from ‘normal’ to ‘complicated’ in a moment of revelation, due to unimaginable circumstances, you need look no further than to the mourning experiences of Julie Metz and Reeve Lindbergh. As you can see in my […]

Not ‘Normal’ Anymore?: Complicated Bereavement

April 14, 2012 by

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I am not just the founding mother, but am also the most decorated member of my children’s fan club. At rallies I come equipped with buttons, balloons and noise-makers, wearing electric blue shirts with the kids’ names inscribed.  I’m a complete embarrassment, but I want my support known. Their spouses can’t hold a candle to […]

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