Browsing Archives of Author »Candida Abrahamson«

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To–or How We Die

July 14, 2014

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Kelly had been a real touchy-feely all her life, so her choice about how she wanted to go surprised me–but, as I reminded her distraught daughters, it was her choice that mattered. It’s become trendy nowadays to make our last days into something of a memorial smorgasborg. We’re encouraged to write poems to our grandkids, […]

Understanding Fear: What Are Phobias and How Common Are They?

June 16, 2014

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Did you ever notice that when it rains it pours? Well around here it’s been raining infographics like cats and dogs. For real–it takes the two of us who run this blog to fend them off at times. It’s not that the ones we don’t choose to run (and, hard as it may be for […]

National Cancer Survivors Day–the Good, the Bad, and the Neutral

June 1, 2014

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There are only three possible outcomes after a major life event: things get worse, things get better, or things stay the same.  Once you’ve had cancer, it’s not too likely that your life will ever be the same.  OK, maybe with a tiny skin cancer.  But I mean the big, scary CANCER, where your existence […]

May Is Borderline Personality Awareness Month

May 12, 2014

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The 4-year-old child spills the cereal on the floor when trying to put some in his own bowl.  The mother’s response: “I told you not to take cereal yourself! No one listens to me. I’m a piece of garbage!” Storming, she jams the bowl, the cereal box, and everything else on the table, and then […]

Words are Fattening; Watch What You Say to Yourself

January 8, 2014

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I was downdog-ing along, minding my business, when I heard a man’s voice break through the gym’s hubbub. “..and the cherry sauce over the chicken was rich and dark–must have had some  brandy in it–so wonderful!” His personal trainer (female voice), “uh hnn.” “The stake was marinated in something special, wine plus fancy herbs–smelled as […]

Does Your Holiday Family Event Make You Itch?

December 5, 2013

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Well, you made it through Thanksgivukkah.  But don’t relax yet; the big season of joy is coming up fast. Being with your extended family can make you squirm, either due to their direct questions or simply as a results of the difference between your life situation and that of the larger group. If something important […]

Raising Nice Adults: Overfunctioning for Your Already Launched Adult Children

October 28, 2013

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Over a year ago I posted several blogs on helping to launch your young adults who haven’t yet found work, job, insurance, or significant other.  See “Fixing We’ll Just Fix It For You: Letting Your Children be Adults: the Two Principles,” and“But What If? Adult Children with Extenuating Circumstances.”  Recently, an extended version of that […]

Bullying’s Victims: Profile of Our Vulnerable Children

October 17, 2013

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A story of injustice mixed with justice hit the news yesterday. A Florida sheriff arrested 2 girls (ages 14 and 12) for cyberbullying. Their victim, 12-year-old Rebecca Sedwick, jumped to her death from an abandoned concrete factory.  The Facebook entry from her torturer: “Yes, IK I bullied her Rebecca and she killed herself and IDGAF” […]

Who Owns the Overweight Problem: National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month

September 17, 2013

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Everybody worries about a chubby child.  Thin parents and overweight parents, especially those who suffered from fat-kid syndrome themselves.  Even Michelle Obama weighs in on this topic. Yet nobody knows what to do about it, except make September a National Child Obesity Awareness Month. Thanks a lot. One thing surely won’t work: a parent trying […]

National Cancer Survivors Day (June 2)

June 2, 2013

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So today is National Cancer Survivors Day. This special day prompts 2 questions: 1. First–What does it mean to be a cancer survivor? 2. And, then, what’s the value of a special day? We understand what it means to be a survivor of a frightening or horrific public event: the Moore tornado, Hurricane Sandy, the […]

Are You Reading This After Midnight? More Thoughts on Insomnia

April 4, 2013

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“Up All Night” by Elizabeth Holbert, a  nice piece in the March 11 New Yorker, reprises the research of Matthew J. Wolf-Meyer, an anthropologist with an alternate model to our 11pm to 7am “ideal sleep schedule.” In The Slumbering Masses” Wolf-Meyer looks at the recent history of sleeping patterns. Before electric lighting, folks went to bed shortly […]

Tolerating Insomnia is Halfway There–Part 2

March 18, 2013

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If my hypothesis (see previous post, Part 1) proves correct that fear of insomnia increases insomnia, successful treatment should involve mastery of the fear.  We know from both experience and from cognitive-behavioral theory that avoiding the source of fear makes the fear stronger rather than weaker. Conversely, facing down the fear weakens it. Why else […]

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